EXPOSITIONS BY E. I. OPUTA

A perfect home strives on a voracious sense of commitment by all to making it a success. There is a local saying: “Old soldier never die”. Funny one! Marriage needs to be like that. Your children need to come into the family and feel like the love is like an old soldier that will never die. Your bond must be so strong that the thought of separation (not even divorce) is humorous. I‘ve met homes like that. Perfect homes. The mere thought of separation or even disharmony is funny, even to you. They are so bound together that they start resembling each other, as if they are siblings. The term “ONE BLOOD” is very real there and that is due to the strength of bond that holds the home together. This bond is forged in the fires of commitment. One that never ends. It never fades. It’ll out last eternity and still prove resilient. That is the kind of commitment that can forge a perfect home. AIDS TO ACHIEVING UNENDING COMMITMENT Never say never. Allow yourself to be lost in your mutual lo

As a wife you must be content to be your husbands Queen. The moment the wife becomes unhappy with her designation as Queen, it means that the marriage cannot be. To have a peaceful and successful home both must realize their roles in it (career wise) and be accepting of it. To ladies, before you get married, you must make sure that your man has a vision that is bigger and in line with yours. This is so that you can find a supporting role to its attainment. There is nothing wrong with a female career. There is nothing wrong in having a married woman being the president of the nation. It will one be expedient if her doing so is in furtherance of her husbands vision.  How many women will love marrying a man with no vision? No one! This goes to show one of the important factors to consider before marriage. If you (as a lady) dream to one day be the Governor of The Central Bank, your dream man (spouse) has to envision being the President of the country or of the World Bank. The

Good morning dears, Remember this: DO NOT SEEK FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO MEASURE UP TO ANY STANDARD! The union of marriage is a living entity and it is unique. NO TWO MARRIAGES ARE THE-SAME! Even if you have twin men marrying twin women on the same day by the-same officiator ... their respective marriages will still be different. A lot of young men and women tend to tailor their marriage to that of a mentor or some other persons' marriage they admire. STOP IT! You are following the recipe to disaster. Your marriage is unique. The dynamic you have with your spouse is special. Your history plays a huge role. The words/vows you exchanged and their implications, the core principles you agreed on as a unit, the expressions of love - the weight behind each of them, ... all these and more have an effect on the uniqueness of your marriage. So you witnessed a husband command his wife in public and she responded meekly, you suddenly decided to try it out with your own wife?

Marriage is a unifying force. This means two people (male and female) have wrapped themselves around themselves so much that they each live in the other. It's just like the physical manifestation in conception. You roll on the hay so well with your spouse that you exchange parts of yourselves. He enters you and you enter him and together you guys produce the physical manifestation of that union - a child. A child is not the only manifestation of your union.  You see, people are made of their experiences! When you share experiences together you absorb a little of each other. The more you give of yourself, the more entwined you get to the point that there is little difference between both of you - you become one. So,   When you spend money on your side chick, know that its also your wife's money you are spending! When you sleep with that married man, be aware that you are sleeping with two people in one. His wife in bed with you two. When you slap that mechanic,

I had the good fortune of learning something new yesterday which made an impression on me and I wish to share that with you this afternoon. It's about our affinity to be irresponsible. Yes, IRRESPONSIBLE! The opposite of responsible. We often neglect to acknowledge the fact that each time we apportion blame on something or one other than ourselves for what is going wrong in our life, we are irresponsible. Responsibility which is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone; holds true in spite of outside interference or overwhelming / overriding factors. The phenomenon that is more acceptable to us especially here in Nigeria is called Determinism. This is the philosophy that all events, including human action, are ultimately determined by causes regarded as external to the will. Some philosophers have taken determinism to imply that individual human beings have no free will and cannot be held morally responsible for their

This was going to be a short quote but it ended up like this. Any man who is hard on his wife is cheating on her and any woman who is hard on her husband is cheating on him. (E. I. Oputa, 2017) Being hard or soft is my coinage to represent two contrary emotions that people reflect in relationships.  When a man wants to toast a girl, he goes soft. You don't get a babe by being obnoxious, violent and difficult. The same thing happens to a girl that wants to entrap or catch a man. She goes soft. She doesn't complain. She's the most understanding and accommodating. Being married does not imply you throw away all the little wisdom you garnered when you were single. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Listen lady, you can be hard to everybody else in the world, just make sure that you are (and show yourself to be) soft to the one that matters most to you (your husband). Obviously, you don't take shit from anybody. Be willing to take it from your husband. Y

... Imagine keeping your wife in Dubai to oversee company affairs there while you remain in the US. You’ve just split up your own family with your hand.  No matter how big your vision gets. NEVER SPLIT YOUR FAMILY. Marriage is about unity. If she cannot be where you are, then there is no reason why she would or should remain married to you. ... The couple is ONE. Not TWO. There is NO VISION without the man (plural - couple) that will write it down, make in plain and run with it. Without vision there is no path. The Man is directionless - without work. But a man that is not complete - not united in marriage to his missing rib, cannot be successful in executing his vision (following his path). Cos' you see, his path has two many dangers that he can not handle alone, thus his need to be complete. A lot of men have had this your idea and they ended up loosing everything. Their love, their wife, their children and eventually their business or whatever they

Good morning friends, my name is Emmanuel Oputa. Today, I will like to talk to you about adopted quotes and stereotyping. You see there are a lot of things we do and believe to be normal and are status quo but shouldn’t be. In our individual journey to discover ourselves we have to be cautious of the cast to which we are molding our selves. Sometimes the cast is religious, sometimes it is societal structured, sometimes it’s just a result of generalizations and accepted norms. We must try to discover ourselves for ourselves. There needs to be an original reason for everything we do. Don’t just take your bath because it’s an accepted norm to do so, do it for a reason you can believe in and will never regret.  I’ve discovered that a lot of quotes and common beliefs have proven to be false or unacceptable to me. For example: 1. “People do not change”: People actually do change. Those of you that have known me for a long time will attest to this fact. I certainly I’m not the pe

"This psychological fever happens mostly to ladies but it has been known to infect guys too. It is the great desire to marry for one reason or the other that makes them disregard necessary safeguards or processes in other to reach that goal quickly. This phenomenon often makes the victim to see marriage as the ceremony and not the institution which the ceremony celebrates. Many ladies due to the trick of their biological clock have been known to dive headlong into the “marriage race” because they do not wish to “lose”. The marriage ceremony is just that - a ceremony. Marriage doesn’t occur when the officiator declare it to have occurred. It is a bonding that happens long before the state and people are invited to celebrate / mark it. Emphasis on the ceremony has left many bewildered as there are no special feelings that differentiate a single existence and a married one." . . . . . . I noticed that some single folks tend to feel

A ready Word from God slid into my mind this morning. I'v been meditating on it and how it affects my daily work. It's my desire to share this truth with you.  "BEING CONTENT DOES NOT MEAN SETTLING FOR LESS, IT MEANS BEING GRATEFUL AND FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU HAVE AND WHERE YOU ARE AT." You see, some people have this erroneous belief that: * those that are poor have accepted and are settled in their poverty. * those that lack are settled in their ignorance. * those that are dead where unworthy to be alive. * those that lost, had accepted their fate of failure.  e.t.c. Those are not necessarily true.  You see, at any point in your life, you'll always be in the position of less. What do I mean? What you have right now is not enough and there will never be a time you will have every thing you desire. As long as you are alive, you will always have desires and needs that are above your present capacity. Contentment is the ability of achievi

The truth is that there really is someone better than your spouse out there. Yes! If your spouse is 99%, well there is someone who is 100% your type and probably searching for you. This fact is the motivating fear for some young people with the phobia for committing to bond with someone they love. The problem is never the partner at hand but the one that could be. The fear of meeting your “soul mate” (the one meant for you) after you’ve been joined to anot her has kept many single for too long. The fear of commitment affects both male and female. The loss of play/social friends due to a commitment to one is a constant nightmare. The closed feature of marriage garnished with an oath of together-forever, puts a damper on any eagerness to be hitched. If I’m going to be bound forever, then I might as well be bound to the best one. The problem with this thought is that “the best” is entirely a matter of perception and circumstance. The most beautiful girl in 2015 may not be the most

A Hospital Suite at St. Mary’s Hospital “I curse the first day I saw him. Cursed be that day. If only I knew how monstrous he was I wouldn’t have gone into such a relationship. Look at what he has caused me.” Juliet cries into my shoulder Kingsley is lying half dead in the hospital. His mother is praying and crying by his bed. He has to survive it. “Ikenna may it not be well with you.” Juliet my friend voiced the words while staring at her fiancé, Kingsley. What surprised me was how Ikenna got to Kinsley despite the security around the neighbourhood he was attacked. “Who is Ikenna to you ? ”  I asked my friend “He is my ex” “How did you get to know him?” I asked she didn’t give me an immediate answer. I felt it was a bad experience and she didn’t want to talk about it, especially in front of his mother so I led her to the reception. Not long after we got seated she started her story. “When I got into the university Ikenna was one of the first people who welcomed me

Good morning. Just a short one! Have you noticed that:  The high fliers in life have experienced the lowest ebbs of life.  The best motivators have been suicidal at one point or the other. The most successful people are people who understand by first hand experience what poverty is all  about.  You can't afford to complain about how bad things are for you. You need to change your perspective of seeing things, because what you are complaining about marks the correct road to your greatness.  Even movie producers realise that the protagonist needs to pass through a hardship or the other to truly be victorious.  There is no victory without challenge. It wont' be a task if it wasn't tasking. It won't be a worthy fight if it was easy.  The road to glory is tarred with thorns. Don't expect life to be easy for you. Suicide?  What are you thinking? Did you really expect to become a gladiator without training? Listen: The autho

Good Morning,  Recently I've been reading up on one of the brilliant minds of our time. He is a South African-born Canadian-American business magnate, investor, engineer and an inventor. Among his many inventions include: Futurist extraordinaire. Tesla Motors, electric car. ... SpaceX, Falcon rocket. ... X.com (PayPal) e-payments. ... Hyperloop. ... Zip2, online city guides. ... SolarCity, solar-power systems. ... Electric Jet  e.t.c. His net Worth is $15.9 billion (USD). So yep, he is very rich. His name is ELON MUSK. I gave this much background on him because I'll like to use him for my analogy today. When it comes to finance in marriage, a lot of people get so jittery and messed up that they mess up an already made bed.  Ladies, imagine that you are married to Mr. Musk and he asks you to give him a million dollars of your own money, which is basically all you have, would you? I bet the answer would be Yes? Why? Because he's wort