AIDS TO ACHIEVING A PERFECT HOME:

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Good Morning dears, 

Happy Easter in Advance!

Every woman who has ever thought of her family (either presently or in the future) prays for a perfect home. Perfect, not as scored by any external standard, but perfect for her. A husband that adores her, children that are exemplary and a station that is comfortable. A perfect home is no myth or illusion. It’s very achievable. It depends on a variety of factors and a blessing from above. But it remains a present day reality for a number of people and can be yours too.

MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE: 

This means commitment of both parties to achieving this goal. The father and mother of the home must desire it -to have a peaceful home. No goal can be reached without unity. “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” When both are determined to see their marriage through, they are less susceptible to escalated conflicts. Conflict and disagreements in marriage is sometimes inescapable, the deal is that no matter the issue none of the parties will ever seek dissolution as an answer. People have conflicts everyday in their lives with friends, family, etc. Divorce is a mental attitude. You don’t go about disconnecting with people you have an issue with. You simply deal with the issue. Parents must learn to make their conflicts ISSUE-based 


MUTUAL SATISFACTION: 

Different people with different personalities have different life style and demands. Marriage is an institution that demands compromise. For it to work at all, the man and the woman must find a common ground. The man must feel satisfied with his marriage. He wants to be able to boast about his wife and children to any that’ll listen. The woman must also feel deep satisfaction. She must be comfortable in her skin. The children also demand satisfaction; they must feel loved and appreciated. Where many fail it, is when the individual people in the home feel it is their responsibility to work out their satisfaction. This method of solution is understood and acceptable in a PARTNERSHIP but NOT in a MARRIAGE. Satisfaction must be gotten from your better half. Marriage and family exists so that you don’t have to do it yourself. As it was from before marriage, the man is responsible for satisfying his woman - in all things. So is the woman responsible for satisfying her man in all things. The parents together are responsible for satisfying the children. “When you have an itch, at your back, scratching on a surface can stop it. But having someone scratch it for you is always better - Especially when the person can locate where it itches”. 


ENLIGHTENED SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY: 

You must understand that marriage is work. CONSCIOUS WORK. It is not for the immature or faint hearted. It’s not for the lazy. Everyone must be enlightened enough to understand what they are getting into. It’s like the medical profession. Doctors realise that the life of their patient is in their hands. So also in marriage. Actually it is far worse in marriage. Because the person whose life you are responsible for is the most important person to you. Your love. Everybody must understand this: that your marital vow is like the medical oath that doctors swears to protect life (Hippocratic Oath). You have a responsibility to protect your family. You have a responsibility to your spouse. You have sworn to protect and serve them to the utmost of your ability and with your life if need be. (Till death do us part). This marital vow really is not unlike the one made by professional service personnel in the fire service, medical professions, rescue services, the military and other paramilitary protective services. 
It simply means I WILL SERVE AND PROTECT TILL I DIE. 
I’ve heard many people say about their marriage, “I need to take care of me”. “I can’t afford to lose my head over this person”. “I’ll watch out for me, thank you”. “It’s just me and my children, he can go to hell”. A sense of responsibility has no place for playing the blame game. If things go wrong, fix it. It’s like your house is leaking and you are looking for someone to blame for it or your house was broken-into and afterwards you leave it damaged like that to attract sympathy or for someone else to fix. NOBODY is going to fix your issues for you and if someone does, your home BELONGS to that person. 


If your husband is retarded or sick and you hate taking care of him - assuming someone else does, maybe a nurse, while you are out being “busy”. Will it be shocking to see him respond to that lady more than he does to you? Will it surprise you to see your own children show a level of love and respect to that lady more than you? A sense of responsibility allows you to make the most of a bad situation and enjoy a good one. Love is sacrificial. So is marriage, an institution built on love. Every intending couple must have at the back of his/her mind this one thought: “I am responsible for this person”.


I wish all our intended's success this year. May you find yours and can him/her for life! May your find your perfect home and all that pertains to it and you!


- E. I. OPUTA


Excerpt from the book: Exposed: Blueprint for Marital Bliss Revealed! (Ch. 16, pp111-119)
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