10+ REASONS WHY MEN STOP THEIR WIVES FROM WORKING

Hello friends, 

I have always maintained that although there is equality of the sexes in general, there is no equality of the couple in marriage. 

The man is the head of the family. The captain. The first defender. The overseer and representative. 

The woman is the neck of the family. The specialist. The director of operations. The home builder and first class mate. 

The structural hierarchy is not to demean a sex but to foster cohesion that recognizes the strengths and weaknesses presented by each gender and personality. 

This present article is really not about the hierarchy needed for the home to succeed but "why so many men refuse their wives from working". 

Why do some men stop their wives from taking on career responsibilities? 

Why do some husbands feel threatened by their wives job? 

Here are some reasons gathered from years of experience counselling and observing contemporary homes:

1. The man needs to remain relevant. He fears that if the woman is empowered economically, she may realize / assume that she no longer needs him. 

2. The risk of ineffective help. A woman may be working and earning a lot to support the home, but fails in providing help for the man. A man must define what help he wants. If you go about aiding his needs without him getting his wants, you risk being useless to him.

3. Submission issues. It's difficult for the greater to submit to the lesser. Women often thrive more than men in their given careers, in spite of the inherent challenges they face being women. When the wife becomes bigger than her husband, it becomes difficult for her to submit to him. His issues that were large and important before become small and his reasoning becomes mediocre. 

4. Children care. I know that there are some men that are adept at caring for children. But you can't deny that women are primly designed to nurture children, being their physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual backbone. The role of mothers in home and nation building is very staggering. A career wife finds it harder to meet these roles as well as a demanding career. 

5. Unfulfilled needs. The basic needs of most husbands are so simple that it would make you laugh and make them look juvenile. Most husbands want a wife that will: 

• Make him the envy of his peers. 
• Satisfy his baser instincts of pleasure. 
• Wash his clothes and cook his meals. (Take personal care of him). 
• Support his crazy and often hare-brained ideas and visions.
• Help him manage his resources and achieve his dreams.
• Nurture his children and be his queen. etc

These needs are being re-written by a lot of "rational thinking" women. Unfortunately, a lot of men are not rational.

6. Control. Most men want control. Control over their resources. Control over their privacy. Control over their children. Control over their status / position in life. Control over their faith. Control over their name. Control over their offspring. Control over their wife. Their thought remains "if you are going to be another me, answer my name and aid me; you must understand my rules and live by them". Often times, a career takes their wives out of that control. Women tend to realize that being empowered can make them kings, so then invariably abandon being queen. 

7. Separation. Some men are very clingy. They want their wife around. They love rushing back home to meet them. They love the fact that their emotional and (embarrassing) sexual urges are safe in the management of their wife. So they are willing to do anything to do anything to maintain status-quo. Anything includes working like a jackal to meet their queens every need. 

8. Mediocrity or Unambitious-ness. Not all men desire to be wealthy. Shocking news?! Yes. Some men just want to live simple lives. Especially men who have been married before or men who have had near-death occurrences or men who have lost close family before. These men are about the now and never about the future. They fear change and growth and will never agree to anything that will undermine that position. 

9. Tradition & religious beliefs. Some religions do not favour women working. Other traditions frown on empowering women. Men who adhere to these tend to abide by these tenets. Similar traditions give huge non-career responsibilities to these women, especially if the man is titled and entitled; thus diverting their attention from a career.

10. Obedient husbands. The final reason is really not the man's idea. Some women do not want to work. They frustrate every attempt to empower them and sabotage every business opened for them. They knowing or unknowingly give strong signals to their husbands that they do not want to work. These men who often love their wives do not bother trying to change their minds but readily agree.

11. Work Place Romance. Yes, that is a thing. Don't you know that standard of attraction grows too? Most men fear that if their wives were to work (thereby increasing their exposure), they wouldn't find their husbands attractive anymore. This rational or irrational fear is sometimes validated in office scandals that the society coughs-up periodically. 

WOW! 

This took longer than I anticipated. If you find yourself in this situation and you want to know what you can do to change it; convince me by commenting below to write on "what you can do to make your husband adapt and support the importance of a wife's career!"

It's my hope and wish that every home will swim in the river of love, bliss and fulfilment. 

- E. I. OPUTA