Marriage is like Sky Diving ...

First of all, let me show you some precautions for skydiving:

1. Safety is EVERYONE'S responsibility.

2. Don't ever get complacent.

3. Review your emergency procedures before the jump.

4. Get a gear check before the jump.

5. Always approach the plane from the rear.

6. 200 jumps are required before undertaking the jump.

7. Perform handle checks before preparing to exit the plane.

8. Be very aware of everyone around you at break-off.

9. Be mentally prepared for malfunctions and always be ready to perform your emergency procedures.

10. Know which way is North, South, East, and West on the jump.

Now, simulate that to marriage and you have an amazing recipe for a sensible marriage experience. I say sensible because that should be the baseline for any marriage. And also some marriages I see these days are so insensible.

Please take note of the following if you are about to undertake a skydive (marriage):

1. This action is dangerous. It gives a high. Yes. It's very satisfying. Yes. It makes you feel alive. Yes. .... But it also is dangerous. Stop acting as if you are unaware.

2. It requires maturity. Maturity begets responsibility. You must be responsible for your action. If you decide to skydive, please be mature enough to accept and be responsible for any fallout as a result of your very own decision.

3. It takes caution and personal verification. You must check your parachute pack personally. You can't afford to delegate this matter to someone else. Even if you meet a specialist (marriage counsellor) to check your instruments for you, you still need to do your own check as many times as possible. For example, it's your responsibility to check the history, origin, genealogy, medical history, education, personality, psychological mindset, faith, etc. of your partner before saying "I do".

4. Love is just one of the many variables for marriage to occur. Do not let it blindside you. You must have your compass with you. You are a human being with a vision. Make sure your vision is not sacrificed on the alter of marriage. Marriage should give your vision some miles and not retrogress it.

5. You must bind yourself to your parachute pack! For marriage to work, you must be one. There is no two ways about it. If not, the strong wind will split you apart. There is a risk of the ties to hurt you or you damaging your parachute. It takes aptitude and finesse to handle the tools. You can't be angry at it nor be angry that you are being used. That is the purpose of the union. Mutual using! Get over yourself and make it work.

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I'm tired of these strong stances and erroneous declarations of people who were too complacent to give marriage the seriousness it deserves. It has always been a risky business. If you welcome the risk, deal with the aftermath!

If you've never been married before, then meditate on the safety precautions for skydiving as enumerated above.

1. Your safety is your responsibility.

2. Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. Don't be complacent.

3. Before you commit to the marriage (saying I do), review all safety checks. Yes you can never know someone a 100%. But you owe it to yourself to read the signs. THERE ARE ALWAYS SIGNS.

4. Get an experienced elder to help you read the signs. Their white hair should be an asset to you. Take proper heed to their advise. It's not always "rubbish".

5. Approach your union from an advantageous and safe position. It matters. Do not sell yourself short even before the union happens. Do not present yourself as a gold-digger. Your good work (efforts) later on will be swept under the rug!

6. For heaven's sake' do not rush. Courtship is still vital. Know the person into-to.

7. Even when it's almost a done deal, still perform personality compatibility checks.

8. Do not think that the ex'es do not matter. They do. Relations, Relatives and Reflexes. "Before trying to forge a new life in marriage both parties must be responsible enough to settle the 3R – Relatives, Relations, Reflexes – factors that could weigh in on the stability and happiness of the new family." - E.I.Oputa (2014)

9. Be ever ready for malfunction. You are not perfect yourself, so I don't know why you assume your marriage will be. Nothing is PERFECT, in the sense of perfection itself only as it relates to you. Be ever ready to perform emergency procedures to safeguard your life, marriage, family ...

10. Abeg have vision before undertaking marriage. You need to be heading somewhere first, before you board the bus.

First of, Determine the destination of your life.

Then, Ensure your partner is heading to the same destination.

Then, Agree that you guys want to go together.

Finally, Embark on the journey while amending your route to stay true to your combined destination.

I wish you the best of life and love.

Love Life; Live Fully ...

- E. I. OPUTA