I’M IN LOVE WITH THE SHAPE OF YOU, YOUR BODY!

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Hello friends, 

What is love?

I heard a song similar in lyrics to the title of this post that made me realise that LOVE means different things to different people.

And that one of the greatest common errors people make is ASSUMING that your definition of love is the-same with the other persons’ definition.

It has gotten to the time when one has to ask “What exactly do you mean?” when receiving an “I Love You” declaration.

What do you mean?

What exactly do you mean?

What do you love about me?

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Today’s post is not really about defining love but scrutinising a popular view of love that bothers on SEXISM and SEXUAL OBJECTIFICATION.

Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender.

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity.

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When I heard the song as entitled, I realised that when a lot of people say “I love you”, they actually mean to say, I love you as a sexual object – a product of my erotic fantasy and imagination.

They imply that I love your body and desire you just because you fit the criteria for my sexual satisfaction and fulfilment.

This here is the reason why many marriages fail. The man fell in love with his wife’s body.

Ordinarily there is nothing specifically wrong with that – but that love isn’t really love. It is lust. It is demeaning to the essence of LOVE.

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A prostitute wants this definition of love.

The models and actors need this definition of love.

They need it for the success of their business. Think about it, if you see my body as an object – a valuable object, you invariably start thinking in terms of possession or acquisition. This already connotes money.

Monetizing a feeling is the secret of their business.

I make you feel good? Pay for it.

You “love” what you see? Pay for it.

My pose or posture makes you desire the clothe I wear? Buy it.

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It is foolish adapting this love model to the lifelong institution of marriage. You do not marry a body or an object.

Marriage is for people.

Human people. Personalities. Fall in love with personalities. Personalities that poses unique and human traits, behavioural patterns, likes, quirks, skills, failings, stimuli, standards, principles, faith, experiences, habits, etc.

Falling in love is beyond the shape of the body. It is loving the entirety of the person’s unique humanity including the frailty of the human life. That is what is treasure-worthy. Not the body.

· When you love a person’s soul, you can never divorce that person.

· When you love their principle, you can vouch for that person.

· When you love their quirks, you can appreciate their uniqueness.

· When you love their behaviour, you can stay comfortably.

Loving their body is very fickle.

If you marry for the love of somebody’s body, you will end up disappointed and dissatisfied. It is sure and just a matter of time.

Especially with women whose body changes with age. Actually, everybody’s body experiences changes from birth to death.

Have you noticed how when you are in the throes of sexual desire to a sexual object, that your reasoning changes? The person ceases to be a biological entity with wastes and imperfections. The person because an object – a perfect object.

This is the reason why people have so many disgusting sexual acts - some quite disturbing. Health becomes a non-issue and sometimes humanity is thrown out the door (like in cases of the dominatrix).

Whatever you love in a body is subject to change!

· The flat smooth stomach will get large.

· The smooth, pimple free face will wrinkle.

· The bouncy breasts will fall flat.

· The tall frame will bow.

· The blue eyes will be covered with glasses.

· The crazy stamina will be limited to High blood pressure.

· The long strong legs will tire out. etc

You get the point!

The human body is still the container for the real entity of a person. That is why I have found out that “THE WOMAN / MAN YOU TRULY LOVE AND NEED TO MARRY AS YOUR SOUL MATE MAY COME IN A BODY THAT YOU MAY NOT LOVE.”

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Redefine your priorities.

Reassess your definition of love.

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So that next time, when someone says “I LOVE YOU!” be sure to ask “What about me do you love?”

Warm regards,



- E. I. OPUTA


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