THE ESSENCE OF GENDER PRIDE IN MARRIAGE (FOR MARRIED COUPLES)

Hello friends, 

Here are some words of wisdom to meditate on in preparation for 2020 marital bliss. 

The coined phrase "gender pride" refers to the innate pride one feels in his gender as a result of attaining a certain status or achieving a certain goal. 

For instance, it is the pride a lady feels when she takes in and puts-to-bed. You hear them say things like, "I am finally a woman". The same thing also occurs in a man. 

Gender pride also comes to play in cases of achievement. When a young man has been able to attain a level of wealth or independence, he said to become a man. Funny enough the same is also said of a boy who gains wealth at a young age. 

Today, I will be touching on the importance of protecting the essence of gender pride in our marriage. Often times we neglect this issue for varied reasons. One, we may not even realize that it is an issue. Two, we disregard it in the face of westernization and illuminating education. 

The essence of what makes a man, a man and what makes a woman, a woman; is essential to our individual character development and mental fortitude. If a man feels emasculated because he is ridiculed for not being a sufficient breadwinner, it has the potential of destroying his personality to the extent that the character he adopts will be totally at variance to how he was in the beginning. 

The same thing is true for the woman. A lady who has been labeled masculine simply because she is unable to conceive of a child; can be so severely affected by such mental attack that her characteristic nature will be sorely affected.

Listen: 

In your home/marriage, you must take cognizance of the prideful essence of your respective genders and protect it. If you do not do that, you will find out that your spouse will over time change to become a stranger!!! 

What are the things you should watch out for? 

1. A man who is unable to take care of his family already feels inept! Rubbing it in will only push him over the edge. You must try to empower him as fast as possible while assuring him of your unalloyed respect and loyalty. Massage his ego!

2. A woman who is unable to give birth or only gave birth to female children often undergo serious psychological attacks. Neglecting her feelings while you showcase your need for a male heir is tantamount to destroying her sense of womanhood (even though it is not her fault). You must assure her of her worth/value in your life as well as redefining her definition of womanhood. 

3. Financial distribution is important. As a female who happens to be the major revenue earner in the home; you must allow your husband to save face by propping him up. Allow him to 'front' for the payment for the house, car and other major transactions as the representative of your family. 

As a male who earns more; you must empower your wife to represent your combined status and not feel like a housemaid in her own home. You cannot be a millionaire and force your wife to operate in penury. That would kill her prideful essence as your woman!

4. A woman is supposed to hold a strong attractive charm over her husband. At the beginning of the marriage, that charm is there and indeed very strong. A lot of people discover that over time, this attraction seems to fade. It gets to the point that in some homes, it actually takes prayer for the man to be turned on. This situation kills the essence of gender pride in the woman. As a man, do not be insensitive. Work together to restore that charm. Allow yourself to be won over. Give bias to your wife. Compromise consciously whenever she ways in on any matter. Make her feel attractive, beautiful and sensual. When you do that consistently, you will find out that there will be a resurgence of her charm of attraction. Why? Because you have given her the key to the kingdom by making her your weakness,

5. "Boys will be boys" is a saying that props up the masochistic essence of the male gender. I think females have a similar saying. Make room for a gender-based relationship to exist. Of course, it isn't to supplant your marital relationship but to nurture your gender essence. Allow your husband the freedom to attend village meetings, social clubs and other such activities that allow him to "kick it with the boys". Allow your wife to attend august meetings, ladies' events and associations. These power gossip fora also have their value in nurturing her gender essence. 

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Of course there is a whole book worth of information on this; but let me summarise by saying that the essence of gender pride is vital and ensuring marital bliss. I am not an advocate of gay-ism - Opposites attract for a reason!

- E. I. OPUTA