THE open-SECRET TO A STRONG MARITAL BOND!

 Hello, blissful couple,

Consider these words:

"Sacrifice strengthens the bond of any relationship. It is the utmost expression of love."

There is this story of a couple whose marriage was becoming tumultuous. This was so mainly because the man was profligate and a philanderer. The woman remained in the marriage for ten years despite being unhappy with the status quo. Her friends and family repeatedly urged her to ditch the man. A friend said her happiness was paramount and divorcing him was the only recourse to ensure that.

The woman remained in the marriage and refused them all. When asked why she said that the amount of blood of the covenant that binds her marriage was way thicker than the water of convenience. She fondly recalled how this same husband jumped in front of a speeding truck to save her life. She remembered how he labored unceasingly to encourage and support her when she was incapacitated with illness after the delivery of her first child. This man had consistently sacrificed above and beyond, risking life and pleasure to ensure her safety and happiness. She mentioned that her success in career and home is a direct consequence of this sacrifice and that there was nothing he would do or people say that would decrease the efficacy of that bond in her heart.

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A lot of you may not share her stance but that really is not the point of this post.

The expression of love alone cannot keep a marriage strong. Repeated strengthening of the marital bond occurs each and every time you spill blood. How do you spill blood? You do so by honestly giving your all (unreservedly) to the betterment of your spouse.

Listen to this:

"Love is good when felt, better expressed and best demonstrated".

And the best demonstration of love is sacrifice.

When you sacrifice (honestly), you invariably strengthen the bond of your marriage. This is not a one-off thing but a continuous process. A lifestyle.

When you make a lifestyle of sacrificing for your spouse and family, the investment (in blood) becomes too great to risk for any pleasure. The cost of divorce becomes too great to pay.

When people divorce these days, they are tasked with the mundane task of sharing finance and property; as if those were the most important things that they share. And truly those are because they didn't store up more valuable treasures (sacrificial blood).

Listen, friends, do not buy into the spiel that there is an option of divorce after marriage. This makes a lot of people go into marriage with their safety gear on. Safety gears generally protect you from sacrifice and loss. This basically means that even the slightest breeze can topple that marriage. It is the sacrifice that binds the home.

Instead, focus on tirelessly showing the love you both feel in words and action. Doing so repeatedly does several things for you:

1. It solidifies your choice and turns your actions into habit

2. It teaches your children about love and gives them a firm foundation to grow healthy emotionally and psychologically

3. It gives you an amazing cushion to forego hurt, turning a blind eye to an offense

4. It ensures security in your home. You are safe in your assumption of where your future is headed.

5. It cancels out the penalty for wrongdoing. So you both as a couple can get to relax and not be perpetually on the lookout for actions and utterances that may breach your "laws".

etc

Listen:

There is a weird (depraved) thing that has been ongoing for some couples in some parts of the world. It is called SWINGING. Swinging typically refers to couples switching sexual partners with other couples, but “the lifestyle” encompasses people looking to have recreational sex or sexual experiences with anyone outside of the relationship.

Why did I bring this up, you may ask?

Well, I find it amazing that the same reason for divorce is what others regularize as the norm in their marriage.

This tells me that the cause for divorce often is not the offense committed but the lack of depth of the relationship.

Do you know that there are marriages where the participants will REALLY die for the other? And do so without pause or self-preservation?

Dear single, when you find that missing rib that is worth such a selfless act, don't just stop there, go further, and deepen the bond and you will come into a blissful marriage that breaks all known preconceptions and barrier.

It truly is beautiful.

To your continuous success in love and life.

- E. I. Oputa