RESPECT AND ACCEPTANCE

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These are the two things every spouse desires from his/her partner – Respect & Acceptance. People are generally different. This fact comes to play in our marital unions – giving birth to different shades of marriages. But no matter what shade your marriage is coloured with, these two subjected factors is vital to the longevity of your home and union. Because the woman occupies a vital position in a home, these factors are most necessary for her to understand.

Respect goes beyond service and mannerism. It begins with the level of value you place your spouse and is established with how much you allow that level of value to influence what you do, say or allow in relation to him. Respect you spouse. Mind what you say to him and how you say it. Respect him enough to learn his boundaries and character quirks. Respect him in how you handle his affairs. Respect him more than how you would value your MOG or father.

Acceptance is tied with contentment. It means not being ashamed of his shortcomings. Do not laugh at his failings. Do not mock the speed of his development. DO NOT COMPARE HIM WITH HIS COMPATRIOTS! Acceptance means you have chosen this imperfect one out of the potential perfect one you may have had. Acceptance is sticking with his storyline. It may start from bad to good. Or from good to bad! Or a roller coaster that is from bad to good to bad to good and on… Acceptance means you are along with him for the ride.

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Any man that you respect and accept in all honesty will enjoy his life. Why? Because it means you will not do the following:

·        Nag incessantly.

·        Compare him with “his mates”.

·        Make him feel inadequate.

·        Place undue pressure on him to “succeed”.

·        Make demands and give targets that he MUST meet.

·        Place a dire consequence on him for breaking your rules.

etc

You may be saying to yourself right now, “this is not for me, I respect and accept my husband”. What I have to say to you is, “ask him”.

You may say, “the things I do are as a result of his own actions”. What I have to say to you is, “these factors should be without condition, just as your love is (should be)”.

You may say, “is it only me that should respect and accept him? What about him?”. What I have to say to you is, “you are right. These factors are not just for the wives. Husbands need to respect and accept their wives totally. Respect their bodies, mind, emotions and opinions. Accept them in totality. You are right”.

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Ones first response to posts like this is always defence. You want to defend yourself because the post seems to be accusatory. That is not the best response. Instead allow it to illuminate your mind and make amends. You’ll have a lot more to benefit than you have to lose.

As always, I’m rooting for you to have an amazing Marital Bliss. It’s never too late.

Love Life, Live Free!

- E. I. OPUTA

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