CREATING BONDS THAT LAST!

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Dear husbands, 

Do not shield your better half from the harsh reality of this world. That is not your job. She is not there only for the rosy part; she is also there for the thorny part. She is not there to only be effective during breaks but to be part and parcel of your (combined) life. 

A recipe to early disaster in marriage is going through tough times alone even as a married man. Your wife is supposed to be right there in the trench with you - slugging it out. 



If you are on a fast, she needs to be on one with you. If you are in trouble with a court case, she needs to also be involved. 

You cannot be a unit and be separate. Any victory in your life of which she is not a part of, mocks your union. 

Listen, some people have begun to twist the wordings to the oath of fealty we take when getting married. Some do it for religious beliefs. But in life, there is no way things will always be on the up. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! Even the good book acknowledges this. 

A house built on the rock and that built on the sand will both face the storm. "When the evil day comes ..." is a present day reality. Seeking to protect your wife from the evil day is not a sign of love but of fantasy. 

If she is not a part of your story, then she is not yours! That is one of the reasons some men fall into temptation with their secretaries. THIS IS NOT TO EXCUSE THEM BUT TO LEARN FROM THEIR ERROR. 

Often time the secretary is not as pretty as the wife, neither is she as intelligent. If she was the man would have married her instead. And NO, infidelity is not always because of lust. 

There is a bond that binds people that struggle together. While your wife is protected at home looking pretty for you, your secretary is with you braving the harsh and brutal world of business. She is protecting your back from traitors within and without; assisting in making every vision a reality and going the extra mile to cause your career to soar. 

There is a saying, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". This quote while often misquoted really means that those that bleed with you in the battle of life have stronger bonds with you than those tied to you a family. 

Stop inadvertently creating stronger bonds with people who are not your spouse. This is the reason why, in my book (Exposed), I advocated for the couple to have a similar vision. If she is in a battle that is different from yours, there is a tendency that both of you will have stronger bonds with various people than you can have with yourselves. 

This is also the main reason why some wives have a stronger loyalty to their Man of God than they have to their husband. It is not necessarily because they are having ulterior relations with said MOG but because they have bonded strongly with their pastor and church so much that, they will instinctively choose them over their husbands. 

As I have said before, the bonds of marriage must continuously be strengthened. Find and create new bonding systems to tie yourselves together. In vision, goals, geography, battles, suffering, etc. The ultimate idea in marriage is unity. Not financial success nor productive success. But unity. 

Listen, sin or not, you really don't need to be married to have children. So also, you do not need to be married to have financial success. You also do not need to be married to have companionship. Marriage is for unity. Unity of purpose. Unity in whatever situation life throws at you. 

Let's get our priority right, then maybe we can begin to make sense of this crazy world and find happiness and satisfaction in whatever state, level or condition we find our-self. 

God bless you! 

- E. I. OPUTA 

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