HARD AND SOFT

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This was going to be a short quote but it ended up like this.



Any man who is hard on his wife is cheating on her and any woman who is hard on her husband is cheating on him. (E. I. Oputa, 2017)

Being hard or soft is my coinage to represent two contrary emotions that people reflect in relationships. 
When a man wants to toast a girl, he goes soft. You don't get a babe by being obnoxious, violent and difficult. The same thing happens to a girl that wants to entrap or catch a man. She goes soft. She doesn't complain. She's the most understanding and accommodating.

Being married does not imply you throw away all the little wisdom you garnered when you were single. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Listen lady, you can be hard to everybody else in the world, just make sure that you are (and show yourself to be) soft to the one that matters most to you (your husband). Obviously, you don't take shit from anybody. Be willing to take it from your husband. You don't normally smile anyhow. Smile for him. You have never cried for a man. Cry for him. If you feel like saying "God forbid", then I just want to tell you that marriage is not for you.


Brother, your wife should be the only woman you go the extra mile for. They said a man should not wash his wife's undies. Nna, if it will make your wife smile or relieve her of stress, WASH IT. Shouldn't she be the one person amongst million that is worthy of that honour/sacrifice? When I hear some men talk of the things they can never do for or to their wife, I get so amazed at their small mindedness. You are willing to share a bed and your life with her but unwilling to do the smallest thing to make that union happy?! Amazing! Whatever needs to be done to put permanent smile on her face, nna, carry on. (Na u wey go enjoy if e good. Na u go suffer am if e no good)

Listen, being hard or soft is the first tell tale sign if infidelity. By the way, infidelity starts from the head. He had already decided to sleep with her long before he did. The moment the thoughts started coming to his head, he found himself seeing faults and short comings with his wife. Suddenly she's to clingy, too demanding, too outspoken, too bossy .... funny enough, some of his complaints are the very thing he told her attracted him to her in the first place.
Once a man starts shouting at the "apple of his eyes", know that the apple has been relocated! When a woman gets tired of her marriage, she gets hard. Respect is thrown out the window. The lady that reverenced everything her husband uses, suddenly has no qualms with stepping on their bed in her shoes! She doesn't care about looking nice for him. She doesn't care about moderating her voice to project her best alluring voice. She doesn't care whether he perceives her fart or not. She doesn't care about putting her best foot forward to be seen in the best light by her beloved.

BE SOFT FOR YOUR SPOUSE!

It is conscious work.The prostitute knows this. The player does this. They present themselves soft for you and make you believe you are the only one they do it for. The General uses a tone with you which you never hear him use with any one else. That is, until there is someone else.
Make conscious effort to be soft for your spouse. No matter how angry you get, your spouse should be the one person that should be able to talk you down and change your mind. No matter how tired or frustrated you get, work up a smile for the one person in your life that is worth it.

PEOPLE, IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MATTER!

Show by your actions that your spouse is your BETTER HALF. The one you give a damn about. Ladies, smile, for him, laugh at his jokes, dress sexy in doors, dress smartly/presentably outdoors, hang out with him, connect with him intellectually, be his girl friend and best friend ... AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, HE WILL FOREVER EAT FROM YOUR HANDS. Why? Not because you are diabolical or devious but because YOU ARE CONSTANT - the same character (soft) you showed when you guys were courting is the same character he is enjoying in marriage. No man can get enough of that. Don't nag incessantly. We know there are issues to trash out! Once in a while, forget about it all, hang out with him and just be his babe!


- E. I. OPUTA

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