LIE

Have you been lied to?

Do you tell lies?

While some may argue on the necessity of telling lies, I know from experience that it's so much easier to NOT tell lies.

In those awkward (on the spot) moments when it seems that telling a lie is inevitable, times when your brain even tells you that it's a sacrificial act and that it's for the good of the person you are lying to.........

........ those periods can best be handled with a sealed lip. Yes! It's better to SHUT UP than to lie.

Lying has a profound effect on people. It destroys trust, and integrity and faith just goes out the window.

THE EFFECTS OF LYING ON A RELATIONSHIP

When was the last time you lied to your partner? And why did you do it?

Lying is habituated behaviour usually driven by either fear of someone feeling badly towards you or the desire to be 'accepted', or liked.

Compulsive lying puts any relationship on an uncertain footing. Think how your partner must feel if they know you are more likely to tell a lie than the truth. If you were to quit being a liar however, and stop telling lies on a regular basis, you might be surprised by how much stronger your relationship will become over time.

Why do people lie to their partners?

Ironically the reason is often to protect their partner. For example, one man decided to start lying to his wife when his business started to have financial difficulties. Although he was trying to keep her from finding out the awful truth, it came out eventually anyway – and the fallout was much worse than it would have been had he decided to stop telling lies right from the start.

The constant lying meant that when his wife did find out, she immediately lost her trust in him. And that kind of trust takes a long time to rebuild.

You see, what often happens is that someone will tell a 'small lie' to a partner in order to smooth over a situation or avoid a confrontation. It works perfectly, so the next time the situation comes up they do exactly the same thing. There seems to be no reason for them to stop telling lies because they are making the relationship more settled.

But gradually and surely the honesty and trust are both being eroded. Eventually it becomes more and more tempting to lie about bigger things – even when there is no real reason to do so. It becomes harder to stop telling lies, and that slippery slope has led from a simple 'white lie' to something much darker instead.

FOR THE RECORD THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A WHITE LIE.

- E. I. OPUTA