EXPOSITIONS BY E. I. OPUTA

1. Your word must be your bond. Remember that marriage is initiated by words. If your words do not carry weight, your marriage becomes meaningless. Avoid lying/deceit, fulfil promises, say what you mean. 2. Don’t be a parasite. Parasites live at the EXPENSE of their host. Don’t make your spouse your host. Share the expense. Be a contributing member. Marriage is for sharing of responsibilities. It is primarily for helping, so help. 3. Spice up your sex life. Imbue your marriage with romance and chemistry. Stop keeping a sex timetable with your spouse. Do not make it a chore. Do not allow it wane in its novelty. Allow for visual and sensory stimulation. Be adventurous, spontaneous and participatory. 4. Involve your spouse in your play time. Whether at home or on a vacation. Don’t taint your subconscious to associate daily stress with your spouse. Make memories of laughter and fun as well. 5. Display and own your bias: Love is suppose...

Good morning folks, One of the reasons that delays marriage in young people is the cost of marriage especially in Nigeria. The moment the thought of marriage comes up in any discuss, the next thing will be the availability of funds – the cost. So the people who get married are simply those who have the money or those who desire marriage so much that they make it happen by faith, through challenges and at great risk to other relationships. It’s baffling that this rhetoric still holds through among Christians. An average Christian couple has to go through three ceremonies before he is considered married. First is the traditional ceremony, because the girl comes from a family and you need to have their blessing and permission to be joined to her.  Second is the church ceremony or white wedding because the Church refuses to recognise that God is involved in the traditional ceremony and so they must do a repeat of the union to involve God in it.  Third is the court re...

Good morning,  If the worth of your relationships is money-based, you will easily be susceptible to fraud. Everyone in your life is not there for you to benefit from financially.  Growing up, I was privileged to meet and interact will great minds who bestowed their wisdom by communication. They never gave money to me but their experiences proved more valuable.  Presently, I maintain healthy value-based relationships with great minds who may not own Porsche cars or humongous mansions in different parts of the world, but they are so wealthy in their own right.  The richest man in the world is only that because he hordes his money. There are a lot of people who do not horde their money but invest in the lives of thousands of people daily. I have been privileged to meet them.  They do not care about what young people of this generation care about. Their focus has always been on equipping the next generation to be better than their ...

"Say ye not, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid."  Crowd mentality, Herd mentality, Mob mentality and Pack mentality, also lesser known as Gang mentality, describes how people can be influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis.  That is one major problem with us in Africa and more especially with Christians (Church goers) in Nigeria. I have always hated the term "the masses". So, I tend to dissociate myself from anything that has to do with the masses. Mass transport, mass feeding, mass education, mass skill acquisition, etc. Being uniquely you is the backbone of your individuality. It's what separates humanity from robots or from animals. Everybody must learn to think for themselves. It's this herding that has brought us to the state we are in.  Notice that God does not recognize herd decisions or ma...

Dear husbands,  Do not shield your better half from the harsh reality of this world. That is not your job. She is not there only for the rosy part; she is also there for the thorny part. She is not there to only be effective during breaks but to be part and parcel of your (combined) life.  A recipe to early disaster in marriage is going through tough times alone even as a married man. Your wife is supposed to be right there in the trench with you - slugging it out.  If you are on a fast, she needs to be on one with you. If you are in trouble with a court case, she needs to also be involved.  You cannot be a unit and be separate. Any victory in your life of which she is not a part of, mocks your union.  Listen, some people have begun to twist the wordings to the oath of fealty we take when getting married. Some do it for religious beliefs. But in life, there is no way things will always be on the up. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! Even the good bo...

A "wise man" once said to me that "the greatest and most valuable word in the world is RELATIONSHIP!"  I have never forgotten that statement. You see relationship is the chord that binds one to another. Friend, colleague, brother, mother, sibling, relative, etc. Relationship can get you were influence and hardwork may not. Relationship works hand in hand with favour.  And for those of us that are SAVED, relationship is what grans us access to God. Jesus died so that we can be reconciled to form a RELATIONSHIP with God whereby we have boldness to call God, "Abba Father". Adoption into sonship!  As we can see, relationship is pretty powerful indeed! Among the various calibre of relationships, the strongest remains FAMILY! The chord that binds us in a family relationship is blood enforced with love.  There are many things one may not tolerate from other people but when it comes to family, our tolerance becomes enduring. That is one of the rea...

STORY TIME: One of my clients just told me a story I will like to share with you. Please pay attention as there are lessons to be gleaned from this real life story. But for privacy sake I will change some of the facts, (like names, etc), but the gist remains true! So, Mr. Callistus walked into my office this morning (basically 1 hour ago) bemoaning his fate. Oga Callistus: Emma, witch they work oh? Me: How do you mean sir? Oga Callistus : hmmmm. Dem dey worry! If not for the prayers I do every night, wahala wey I for dey eeehn. Me : hmmm Oga Callistus: You know that my secretary. Me: Miss Kelechi Oga Callistus: Yes. See the kind of wahala she wan bring come my side after God don finally answer my prayer. **** Background story on Miss Kelechi **** Barely a week passed, Oga Callistus reemployed Miss Kelechi to work for his company. He is a Contractor and for a while he has not been getting any jobs. His company XYZ Nig. Ltd. is a registered contractor for a big oil conglomerate. ...

"Your promises lose value if they often end up in excuses."    "If you want people to listen when you speak, learn the art of only saying what you mean."  A man is as good as his words. If your word is your bond, it means that what you say or commit to is as valid as your signature on an agreement document.  The worth of a man is often demonstrated by his relationship with the people around him. Family, colleagues, business associates, friends and neighbours. The value these people place on you is determined by the nature/strength of your character. The strength of your character is formed by the consistence of the principles you keep.  integrity   1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. "a gentleman of complete integrity" synonyms: honesty , uprightness, probity, rectitude, honour, honourableness, upstandingness, good character, principle(s), ethics,...

Good morning friends, Words are powerful! They are such inconspicuous things that have great effect in our lives. They can build up or they can utterly tear down. In marriage, words are as important as our actions. They can be tools of great bonding or little pests that condemn the whole. The divide in families sometimes are not the actions of the participants but the words. Some women with broken homes I have spoken to confirmed to me that it was not the fact that their spouse cheated on them that finally broke their homes, but the words they used - the lies they told. Women have this inherent ability to store and remember words that hurt them. Some actions can be forgiven and forgotten only if the words that accompanies those actions are not destructive. Mind the words you say. As a man you can utterly decimate the confidence and self worth of your wife by your words. You can make her self conscious by your words and seemingly take away her beauty! As a lady you can al...

I've been encountering some amazing posts recently! Please read! E. I. Oputa approves this post! *** Copied *** SCISSORS COUPLES: 👫✂✂✂ I needed to use the scissors this morning & as I finished with it, I looked at it carefully & I saw that, the scissors models an ideal couple. Let's see some lessons every couple should learn from the scissors so that we can become better couples & build enviable homes. LESSON 1: The scissors is always in pairs & that's where its usefulness is. Once you see one part & the other part is not there, it is useless no matter how beautiful it is. The effectiveness of every marriage is lost when couples are not together. Separation & divorce destroy the effectiveness & usefulness of every marriage. Remember, 'united we stand, divided we fall'. Separation is not only when you separate physically & you are no longer living together. There are many couples who are together under the same roof but are spirituall...