EXPOSITIONS BY E. I. OPUTA

Enough with the confusion! Single ladies, let's talk marriage a bit. Marriage is not partnership. The bond is not friendship. Marriage is not a competition. It is not living a fairy tale. If you are attracted to a man, that is not a sign that you have to marry him. There are a lot of amazing / attractive people in this world. Crushing on them is only normal. If you have feelings (love) for a man. that is not enough reason to marry him. I'm sure you have feelings for your brother but you don't marry him, do you? It is very possible to have deep love for many men. Being in love is a conscious act that can only be granted one person. What is the utmost sign / reason to agree to a man's proposal? How do you know which of your crushes is suitable to become your husband? Let's deal on this finally, shall we? . . . . . . . . . . Whoever is going to be your husband needs to: 1. Be your idol: This means that his real persona/character is so admired by you that you worship ...

7. As Holy Christians, we may not subscribe to the Valentine Fever, but As Married Folks, it is imperative that this Fever is enshrined in our day to day living. Do not neglect being romantic to the wife of your youth. Take her out today and make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It is scriptural, legal and wise. 6. Anger may be UNAVOIDABLE in the course of  your marriage. What can you do about it? Train yourself to: Find healthy ways to let off steam.  Investigate the REAL reason for your anger. Communicate same to your spouse.  Let it go: Don’’t allow it to fester. Consciously choose happiness in your marriage. 5.  There is no such thing as independence in a marriage. Interdependence of marriage acknowledges the importance and need of both parties. It means that the man needs the woman and the woman needs the man. The absence of WORTH invalidates the essence of the union.     4.  Most men want peace i n t...

1. Your word must be your bond. Remember that marriage is initiated by words. If your words do not carry weight, your marriage becomes meaningless. Avoid lying/deceit, fulfil promises, say what you mean. 2. Don’t be a parasite. Parasites live at the EXPENSE of their host. Don’t make your spouse your host. Share the expense. Be a contributing member. Marriage is for sharing of responsibilities. It is primarily for helping, so help. 3. Spice up your sex life. Imbue your marriage with romance and chemistry. Stop keeping a sex timetable with your spouse. Do not make it a chore. Do not allow it wane in its novelty. Allow for visual and sensory stimulation. Be adventurous, spontaneous and participatory. 4. Involve your spouse in your play time. Whether at home or on a vacation. Don’t taint your subconscious to associate daily stress with your spouse. Make memories of laughter and fun as well. 5. Display and own your bias: Love is suppose...

Good morning folks, One of the reasons that delays marriage in young people is the cost of marriage especially in Nigeria. The moment the thought of marriage comes up in any discuss, the next thing will be the availability of funds – the cost. So the people who get married are simply those who have the money or those who desire marriage so much that they make it happen by faith, through challenges and at great risk to other relationships. It’s baffling that this rhetoric still holds through among Christians. An average Christian couple has to go through three ceremonies before he is considered married. First is the traditional ceremony, because the girl comes from a family and you need to have their blessing and permission to be joined to her.  Second is the church ceremony or white wedding because the Church refuses to recognise that God is involved in the traditional ceremony and so they must do a repeat of the union to involve God in it.  Third is the court re...

Good morning,  If the worth of your relationships is money-based, you will easily be susceptible to fraud. Everyone in your life is not there for you to benefit from financially.  Growing up, I was privileged to meet and interact will great minds who bestowed their wisdom by communication. They never gave money to me but their experiences proved more valuable.  Presently, I maintain healthy value-based relationships with great minds who may not own Porsche cars or humongous mansions in different parts of the world, but they are so wealthy in their own right.  The richest man in the world is only that because he hordes his money. There are a lot of people who do not horde their money but invest in the lives of thousands of people daily. I have been privileged to meet them.  They do not care about what young people of this generation care about. Their focus has always been on equipping the next generation to be better than their ...

"Say ye not, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid."  Crowd mentality, Herd mentality, Mob mentality and Pack mentality, also lesser known as Gang mentality, describes how people can be influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis.  That is one major problem with us in Africa and more especially with Christians (Church goers) in Nigeria. I have always hated the term "the masses". So, I tend to dissociate myself from anything that has to do with the masses. Mass transport, mass feeding, mass education, mass skill acquisition, etc. Being uniquely you is the backbone of your individuality. It's what separates humanity from robots or from animals. Everybody must learn to think for themselves. It's this herding that has brought us to the state we are in.  Notice that God does not recognize herd decisions or ma...

Dear husbands,  Do not shield your better half from the harsh reality of this world. That is not your job. She is not there only for the rosy part; she is also there for the thorny part. She is not there to only be effective during breaks but to be part and parcel of your (combined) life.  A recipe to early disaster in marriage is going through tough times alone even as a married man. Your wife is supposed to be right there in the trench with you - slugging it out.  If you are on a fast, she needs to be on one with you. If you are in trouble with a court case, she needs to also be involved.  You cannot be a unit and be separate. Any victory in your life of which she is not a part of, mocks your union.  Listen, some people have begun to twist the wordings to the oath of fealty we take when getting married. Some do it for religious beliefs. But in life, there is no way things will always be on the up. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! Even the good bo...